Decisions....Decisions.......

“If you truly expect to realize your dreams, abandon the need for blanket approval.  If conforming to everyone’s expectations is the number one goal, you have sacrificed your uniqueness, and therefore your excellence.” – Hope Solo


I spent many, many years of my young life in possession of very little backbone .  I rarely made a decision that wasn’t immediately called into question. As a result, I spent a lot of time feeling lost and frustrated and unhappy, because that’s what happens when you ignore your own intuition and assume that someone else knows what’s best for you.  The blame can’t be placed on anyone other than myself, because I’m the one who gave people that power over me.  I’m not mad at myself over it, but I look back at that version of myself and I feel like I don’t know who that girl was.  I don’t recognize her.  Because something’s happened to me over the last few years, so slowly that I hardly noticed:  I stopped caring what other people think of what I do.  It seems like such a simple thing, but it really isn’t.  It took me a while to realize that in the instances when I was able to tune out everyone but myself and do what I wanted, I ended up feeling really good about it.  I don’t know if this happened because I’m getting a little bit older and a little bit wiser and a little more secure with myself, or because I booted a couple of toxic people from my life, or a combination of both, but it hardly needs saying that this is a good change.  There is a big difference between taking someone’s opinion under advisement and automatically assuming their opinion is more valid than mine and acting accordingly.  Sometimes I feel really resentful when people load unasked-for “advice” on me, but then I remind myself that I don’t need to resent their advice, because I don’t need to follow it.  And there’s no need to be testy or defensive when someone disagrees with my choices, because they’re mine and I know what’s best for me, not them.  And as long as my decisions aren’t hurting anyone, that’s all there is to it.  It’s not that I’m unwilling or incapable of heeding someone’s advice; I think advice from someone you respect can be invaluable.  I’ve just put it into the appropriate perspective.  I feel good enough about myself to trust my own mind and my own decisions and when I feel certain about something, I don’t seek the approval of anyone else.  There will always be people who feel the need to tell me whether they approve or not, and that’s fine.  It just doesn’t factor into most of my decisions anymore.  And I can’t even tell you what a relief that is.  I’m proud of me.  I think it’s a big step forward on the path to figuring out how to be happy.